Old Man's Town

I’ve had a pretty interesting start to 2012. Someone whom I didn’t really know wanted to know me better, which was really flattering and intense, but turned out not to work out.

The experience was great, but also made me realise that I’ve lived for a long, long time with no clear goals of my own. I suppose, I feel a bit like a water plant being thrown about with the currents. And although I normally see myself in a hedonistic light, I do wonder if I’m really that clear about how I define my own happiness.

I'm gonna try to hit the bull's eye sometime

Don’t get me wrong living in the now has it’s benefits, but it can also be a bit turbulent not to have any sense of direction at all. It all culminates for me. Running my own business and only having to be a responsible parent every other weekend gives me a set pattern, but I haven’t really sat down for a while and thought “What do I want for myself in the long run?”

And yes, it does get to me. At least when it’s dark and overcast outside. I’ll figure it out over time, I suppose, but right now it’s a pretty steep cliff I’m facing.